Today is starting out rough, ticket already, awesome.
More later.
I want food and I don't want to wait.

I noticed today that relationships these days are so (I can't think of the word I want). Angie and Cody are dating again, this is after all the work I put in to building up her own confidence, understanding that Cody will never change, that you don't NEED a guy to be happy. All of those talks we had, all of the logic I forced into view has all flown out the window. I can't stand relationships anymore, I'd rather be in one than sitting here observing all the wrong that goes on in the ones around me. Josh and Jordan for example. I cannot believe the way he talks to her, tells her he hates bringing her places, that he wishes she would just shut her pie hole. Things like this blow my mind. SHE IS CARRYING YOUR FUCKING SON AND YOU'RE GOING TO WALK ALL OVER HER LIKE SHE'S JUST THE MOBILE HOME FOR YOUR PRIDE AND JOY. I cannot fucking believe this shit. Honestly, I want Jordan to get away from Josh, for her own good. "If you lay a hand on my son I will fucking beat the living shit out of you." Why in the Hell would you say that to someone that is A) Carrying the baby, and B) as vulnerable as ever because of the age, the way she was raised, the emotional roller coaster she is on? I don't understand why Josh has to use his anger to make a point clear. On the car ride home, "Jordan, if you don't get off that fucking phone I'm tossing it out the window, and yes, I will fight you for it." First of all, I have never agreed with the "A man should never hit a woman" scenario, I believe that if the woman hits the man first, she just grew balls, BUT, I do agree with the fact that no guy should ever be hitting a girl first, ever. Especially if she's 5 months pregnant with your child. I am scared for Jordan because honestly, Josh has a lot of issues he needs to sort out and he is nowhere near ready to be a Father. I'm not saying she is ready to be a Mother either, but she is a Hell of a lot closer than Josh is to being a Father. I just want to fucking sit Josh down and be like, "Listen, don't treat her like that anymore, she is going to one day leave you and I can guarantee that the son will go with her. Treat her right, and show her your love, don't just fucking say it when you know she's annoyed with you or you want her to do something for you. She is 16, not 20, she is very mature for her age, but emotionally, she is still 16. You have to remember that. I watch her confidence get destroyed every time you yell a question at her and she can't even look at you when she attempts to reply, she is scared of you, Josh. And frankly, she has every right to be. According to Vannah you've hit and beaten almost every gf you've ever had, so what makes her any different? Nothing. Nothing that she can see, anyway. You are going to have a son in a little less than 4 months, 4 fucking months, Josh! You don't have a license, a steady paying job, or even a High School diploma, and yet all you can do is smoke pot, get drunk, and pick fights. Of course she isn't going to have any fun when you're getting high and drinking your heart out, she can't do any of that anymore. That's an entire piece of her life that she will no longer have, her partying days are over, but you are still bringing her around it, knowing she can't participate. Would you not be annoyed as fuck if it were the opposite way around? Her drinking and having all the fun, while you sit there, sober and full of fucking resentment. I just don't understand any of this situation. Yes, you want your son to live in a healthy and stable environment, out of Bremerton, away form the drugs and fighting, but in order to do that, YOU NEED A FUTURE OF YOUR OWN. You cannot provide for someone if you cannot provide for yourself first. I wish that you would see Savannah, see how much she has improved herself, see how well she's doing in school, how she has it all together and then possibly consider doing it yourself as well. I pray, well, I hope, that once your son comes into this world and you see him, that maybe you will change. Maybe a light will turn on once you see that this little boy wont make it without you, that he needs support, and the only way he is going to get it is from a Father that has his shit together, a Father that can provide for him at a moments notice. Becoming a parent completely ends your life, you live for your child now. Yes, it sucks not being able to go out and play beer pong, or take some bong rips, but you have to understand that this particular chapter of your life is over now. You have to grow up and you have to do it fast. I know so many teenager Mothers and Fathers that have children of their own and they always say the same thing, 'I love my child to death, but I just wish he/she could've come along a little bit later in life because I am missing out on all the things I wish I could be doing.' Having a kid forces you to mature beyond your years whether you like it or not, because if you don't, the kid wont be yours for much longer. Honestly, I could and would drop every part of my "partying days" if I had a child on the way, it isn't a choice, it's something that you have to do. You may not be ready to do it, but you don't have the option not to, this isn't to better yourself, it's to better the life of your child. I don't know what will happen, I can't predict the future, but somewhere, somehow, you need to change. That's the bottom line. Instead of acting your age, you now must act 10 years older. You have to see things through a 30 year old's point of view, plan ahead, have backup plans, etc... life is no longer lived day by day, Josh. I hope when you see your little boy for the first time in that hospital that you will have an epiphany and life will change. It has to, there is no going back on this now, you are a Father, you have a son and a gf carrying that son. Man up, support them, and do your best to make it all work. Sure, it'll be hard, it will be harder than anything you've ever done, but in the end, when you're all happy and healthy, it will be so very worth it."

Fuck, I wish I wasn't gay. I would be such a good daddy. :/ I wish I had a cousin or something with a baby, or even a really close friend. I miss playing with kids like I used to do with my baby cousins when they were little. They adored me, couldn't stand to be away from me, then they grew up... sldkfjlaksdjf.

Life is never fair.

Dude, midnight showing of New Moon was bomb. I absolutely love how they filmed this movie, a lot better than the first, even though it is my least favorite story of the 4, it is so far, my favorite of the movies.

I am very fucking done with bitches trying to rag on me about Twilight, I really am. I think I'll probably pop someone in the jaw next time they attempt to give me shit about it. It is okay to like something even though 65498454 other people like it, too. I hate how fucking stupid this generation is with "being original" and "having a less mainstream approach." What in the fuck? If a movie/book is good, it's good. Leave it at that. Who the fuck cares the amount of popularity it brings in or how annoying the silly little girls are? I like this shit, period. The sole reason that many people don't like the Twilight saga is because of all the publicity it is given. Well, last time I checked, publicity is the only way to gain any recognition. I cannot handle it when people that don't even know what the story is about are sitting around doggin' on it, put your fat glass of haterade down for a second.

I just.. slkfjla;sdjf;lkajsfd fuck. "Ethan, I'm not a Twi-hard, those movies and books suck." I am not a fucking Twi-hard, kaythnx. I like it, but I'm not a 12 year old girl. Fuck off, dude. God damn. I like it because of a lot more reasons than the actors in the movie. I've liked this shit since before a movie was even talked about. Jesus fucking Christ.

Good fucking Day.

<3
Ps- Pulled the first all nighter in a long time with Savannah last night/this morning. Talked for 6 hours straight about the world. Pretty fun. Again soon. <3

Hanging out with Jordan's family is always so intimidating because of how hard they are. Seriously, these niggas don't fuck around. Went to her Sister's today and watched video of her older Sister and her friend beating the shit outta these other two broads, it was intense. They straight laid those chicks out like it was nothing. Her Brother, oh man... I don't doubt that he's killed someone. I really don't at all. He seems like a pretty nice guy, but I would kill myself the day I got on his bad side, fuck that. This may be the first time I've ever said this, but thank God for Josh. "Hey, he doesn't talk very much around people he's just met, quit clownin' on him before I put your ass in choke hold. Just relax and he'll eventually start warmin' up to you. Trust me." Yeah, dude. Josh was kinda my savior. Hahahha.
I don't know what he expected me to talk about, I mean, I just met the dude, he's talking about all these people he's beaten up, uhm... wtf am I supposed to chime in about? I don't go around getting in fights, I don't get "hyphy" all the time, I haven't been locked up, etc. It's just awkward when everyone around you is talking about how bad they knocked someone out when you've never done it yourself, haha. Don't get me wrong, I could knock some bitches flat, but it doesn't mean I want to do things like that. Idk. It was weird, heard some funny ass stories though.

Long ass weekend ahead of me, ugh.
New Moon tonight at midnight, woot. Shaun stuff all afternoon/evening until then. Friday I have to go to TCC and register for shit, see what they give me and if it is a better offer than OC, which I am doubting, but one can only hope. Saturday I have two games, President's Cup, actually. Kinda nervous. Sunday I think I have to go to my Gma's, but I'm not for sure about that one. I think I'm going to start working out again, I get so bored I can't think of anything better to do.

Alright.
I'm out.

All Time Low is just soo good, seriously. The old Hit the Lights is beyond wonderful, too.

Let's see, I had the most interesting dream about Josh Watson. Yes, the recently married/baby daddy. Lolzzzz. It was interesting. Funny kiddo.


Tomorrow is the fucking 19th. Ugh.
New Moon midnight showing +1
Shaun's thingy -1/(+1) [Cancels out, so it's neutral? haha]

Don't especially want to see all of the people that I will see tomorrow, but it will feel good to be in a crowd of people that I have something in common with. Shitty occasion, however. I should probably go buy a Shaundana or two.

I miss Shaun. Every year I think about how old I am and how old he would've been, all the funny shit he would've said in these past years that I would remember now and look back at. Idk. November is just a shitty month. I've been invited to 3 different Thanksgiving dinners. Also, 2 different Christmas dinners, haha. I should probably not ditch out on my family this year, however. Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year. <3

Apparently we're all fighting in IAS, I wasn't around for this, but I guess it's a big thing. Whatever. I'm too busy these days to really care.

I need a new iPod, love me? Please. I can only fit like, half of my music on my current iPod and that's not okay anymore. I actually made a Christmas list this year, hahaha. :]

I want to go away for a little bit. Oregon, Seaside actually. Road trip? Let's do it, dude. I'm totally down. I wish we could leave.

Not excited for any of the dumb fucking idiots to return to Port Orchard from the Eastern side. Breann is such a dumb fucking cunt, I can't even think about her without saying she is a cunt. I hope she stays over there for some reason, that'd be great, maybe a flesh eating disease?


Savannah and I STILL need to go to Ocean Shores! Shit.
Btw, Vannahboo had me dying of laughter last night. I was practically on the ground laughing. RABBITS FOOOOT FOR THE WIN! I love me some Mullinex. It's been too long. <3

Just finished up watching a corny and very cliche gay romantic comedy.
Lolz for me being single during what will soon be the Holidays.
Lolz for me thinking that guy was hott.
Lolz for me automatically thinking about my previous relationship that I don't ever try and think about the second I saw the couple in the movie together.
Lolz for Stevie Wonder and his awesome slow jamz.
Lolz for stupid TV shows that have titles that are actually substances.
Lolz for me being able to predict the entire movie. Even the bet.
Lolz all a-fuckin'-round.


On a better, less grumpy, note: I had a fun day. I hung out with Vannerz and the fambam for a griiiip. Good fuckin' times were had. BP, BP!

"the Sarge!" ;] hahahahaa.

And a big lolz for the time it is right now. Ugh.
Bed will be so wonderful. Goood dayyy.

Interesting night.
"Suck it harder... oh fuck... yeah...." and "You want it harder?" <--- Both things that I heard whilst sitting in the drivers seat of my car. Never again will I show anyone that the seats in my car lay out and make a pretty comfortable bed. I can't even imagine doing anything like that with someone SITTING NOT EVEN A FOOT AWAY FROM YOU, but that's fine.

I'm over it now.

Time for sleep.

And if we die, we lived with passion.

Life is grand. Friends are amazing. I'm nocturnal again, but that ain't nothin'. I forgot how pleasant Mullinex is.
PS- I baby names are hard to agree upon.


Going to watch some Friends and enjoy my night.
<3

Dude. I am missin' my Vannahboo like no other right now. I just had a flashback of the "NO FARTING!" inside joke. Omg... that shit was hilarious. Hahahahahahaha, Then that made me think of all the funny shit she used to say all the fucking time, omg. "She kinda got that fishhy thanng goin' on..." LOLZOLZ, And of course I'm listening to Eminem FACK! Hahahahahaa, Fuckkk. ls;dkjfoa;ijhf;osdf;lskjdf

All the CRAZY shit we did. We were epic, dude., We fuckin' were,
Omg... MT. VERNON! Yeah, dude. We fucking were bad ass that night. Around this time last year we really started hanging out a lot more and shit. :[ I fucking hate fights that end friendships, it's some bullshit. I'm juss sayin.

LOL KAT WILLIAMS! "Don't worry, I'LL WAIT!"  sldkfjl;skjdflkj <333
I have never come as close as I was with her so quickly with someone. Srsly. Damn.
We had the motherfuckin' BEST of times. Hanging with her Mom, swimming with Sarah LOL, fuckin' sleepin' in my trunk!, runnin' around gig harbor like we owned the shit! Hahahaha,. I have no idea how we managed to get away with all the shit we did. Fuckin' 30 case of black and red 211s in my trunk, I don't even remember how we got those! Hahahaha. And when Josh made us shoot that vodka her gma had. Omg. And the caribou Lou that we had down there in the fridge, hahaha. We seriously lived life to the fuckin' fullest back then. We risked our asses so much without even thinking twice about it, hahaha. "COPS" heart almost leaps out of chest. Dayummm. "Weelllll, not that this isn't funn, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTT, Gooooood daaaayyyy<3" Awh, and how we listened to John Mayer all the time. LOL, "Dad we need gas money," "ok, I've got $2.00"  "Uhm, you live in BREMERTON!"   HAHAHAHA. And I misses her familia.   Me and her mom were tiiiiiight, hahaha. Her Gma, too! I miss her crazy talking late at night. Hahahaha., 

lksdjfokjsd;ij;sodjf;oasijdfijso   <3  lksjdflkjasldkfjlaskdjfl;kajsdlkfjlksdjflkjasldkfjlskdjflkjsldkfjlkasjdf
:]

The game is over. Not very pleased with how it ended, but, you can't change the past.
I'm pretty sure Sarah and Jamie are the best possible things that could have happened to me over the past month. We talk everyday, basically all day. Amanda, Clare, Catie, and Carlos are in on it, too. I talked to Simon for a couple hours today about NZ and the difference between health care here and there, pretty interesting shit. There are so many cool and interesting people out there, Port Orchard/Seattle is not the only place to find people you can talk to for hours on end. Downloaded Skype because Sarah yelled at/convinced me. I rarely get headaches, but for some reason I have one right now, it's weird.

JBB09- I'll be there for sure. Peter will be there, w00t! It's been so long, srsly.
Going to Seattle on Saturday, should be fun. What up, early birrrd?

Uhm, hung out Brianna and Lindsay today. I miss how much Brianna and I used to talk/hang out. She is so wonderful. Jesus decided to love me and grant her the capability of having a phone again, FUCKYEAH!  Wow. Anyway... oh yeah, had dinner with Kuz, Jordy, and Jon. "Is it not possible for me to buy ribbon without Adam talking to me? 'What are you doing for halloweeeeen? You should come hang outtttt." (Yes, that was in her attempt of a gay boy voice.) I love how she thinks that I don't know that she is probably on good terms with him so she has to act like she hates him when I'm around. Hahaha, funny shit. Alysha does it, too. Iz whateva, nigguz. I honestly don't give a shit. Not anymore, man. He's old news, love/hate him all you want, either way, I'm still cooler. ;D

This headache is ridiculous, wow, dude. Hm. i think that LJ is mad at me for hanging out with Jordy,. LOLZ. Sucks.
Fuckkk. I can't go to my Sister's game if I'm in Seattle. Shiiiiiiittttttt. Well, Sister trumps, sorry city.
Time to watch Friends.


And tonight I will dream of better things than URLs and that sexy British man.
J-fizzle, I salute you and your continuing effort to expand the minds of this generation.
Keep on li(o)ving.
xx

PS- Ohio U's Halloween Parties are INTENSE AS FUCKKK. Look that shit up, 3rd largest block party in the country. Yes, Sarah did call me completely wasted, yes it was some good laughs.

Props for her. I've never thought much of her music, I mean, I listen to it, but it's not like, "OMGZ LADY GAGAZ! OMGZ!" Still... mad props.
I also watched Obama's Address to the Human Rights Campaign. Kinda almost got teary eyed. Haha, I didn't expect that at all. Anyway, I really hope our generation gets shit done. Fuck your grandparents, love them to death, but fuck their religiously biased view points.
I have a strange feeling that this will come up at Thanksgiving dinner or something and I really hope I don't throw any knives at any of my relatives, I will if I have to.... Yes, that is a threat.

Anyway, that is all for now.
<3

Epic Halloween.

So weird to have been hanging out in the attic of an old neighbor's house. That house used to shelter an elderly lady that would always give my Sister and I Crunch bars whenever we came over. Now I go in there, up into the attic and find a whole new world. Seriously, it's so cool. Black lights, these sick green stars fly all over the room, posters everywhere, places to write on the walls, an optional fog machine, music, and just an overall amazing place to chill and talk about life. Blankets and pillows were everywhere, along with pipes, bubblers, bongs, and gas masks. Hahahaha. Definitely a chillax place.
I couldn't stop laughing, LJ cracks my shit up HXC. I was in tears, it was such a fun night.
I turned down Absinthe.. haha. I was not in the mood to mess up my night by drinking something that I had no idea what it would do to me. I've heard horror stories with Absinthe, but I've also heard some really intriguing and fun stories as well, I didn't want to take the chance. Hahaha.

LEGIT NIGHT.

Fall Out Boy's cover of Roxanne is such a great one, seriously, play the drinking game to this version, so much more fun.

Happy Halloween, fuckers.
Soccer games should NEVER require you to awaken at such a time.
Shower, blast some jamz, get so0me breakfast, head out to BI.

Hum Hallelujah is SO FUCKING MARVELOUS<3!
Party night tonight, w00t!

Do you tend to forgive and forget or hold grudges? What is the longest you've ever stayed angry with someone? Is there anything the other person could say or do to win back your friendship and trust?

I hold grudges and I hold them for a lot longer than I should. I am not sure why exactly I do this, but I do and it's not something that will ever change. The longest I have ever stayed angry with someone is probably my Father, I'm still angry with him and he's dead. Crazy, eh? Obviously there isn't anything he could say or do to win anything back seeing as how he isn't alive to say or do anything. I thought these writer's block things were supposed to get you to write more than a paragraph? Perhaps I'll try another one.

In the meantime, watch this video, listen to some of their other stuff, it's good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11qxSUkfLv8
And after that one,  be sure to watch the Murder in the City video. I LOVE that song.

If a friend or relative makes a racist or homophobic remark, do you tend to confront them or let it slide? Are you more likely to confront them if it offends you directly or someone else who seems reluctant to speak up?

Well, I don't have any friends that have ever made a racist or homophobic remark in a serious manner. I don't think any of the friends I have would ever even consider it, but if one of them did I would most definitely confront them about it. I think it'd be easier to confront them than some loud-mouthed stranger that I didn't know. Any of the possible comments would directly offend me because I am part black and I am also a homosexual, so I would be confronting them for my own reasons, but for anyone else that was either of those two things as well. I think I would even get more defensive if it were about a friend than if it were about me, especially if it were someone who was afraid to speak up for themselves. I take friendships seriously, despite what I like to make myself think when they fade out.

Have you ever had a quick thought of someone that you used to speak to, not on a regular basis but often enough, and wondered where they are now? Thought about every part of their personality that you were exposed to and perceived, and from there tried to imagine what they were doing at that exact moment in time? I just did that for about 3 hours. It sounds creepy, but it's only because I'm just so very intrigued. The Abel's and I became acquainted long ago when Kellen first started Gymnastics, he was a tall and lanky kid with a bowl cut atop his head. He looked like nothing but skin and bones, I was so young at the time that I couldn't have bothered to judge this kid based on his physical features, so we hit it off pretty well and he was quickly rising to a rather respected spot in my book. He wasn't very good at Gymnastics, but the fact that he worked as hard as he did and was still able to work after what seemed like little to no progress was something to be admired. I do often wonder what came of Kellen from time to time, but what I wonder more is what came of his younger sibling, Riley. He would almost always be present at the end of practices, for some reason I think he seemed to be in a baseball uniform more often than not, I can't be sure. My Mom and Kim Abel always got along rather nicely, they would stay and talk after practice was over and Riley would come out into the gym with Kellen and I, helping us wreak havoc upon whatever piece of equipment we were so inclined to use at the time. He always had the most interesting way of thinking... so logical, all the time. It fascinated me, even at that young age. I didn't understand how someone the same age as I could be so incredibly intelligent. Kellen was smart, but I always felt as if Riley could easily outdo him when it came to intellect. Kellen stopped coming to practices and my relationship with the Abel's became somewhat non-existent. For some reason I just had a flashback of why the Abel's and I started conversing, I think we carpooled to practice when my Mother couldn't get off work in time to get me. I just had a slight glimpse of Kellen also being picked up by my Mother and I on certain days. Hm. Anyway, I remember Riley in Junior High, we hadn't spoken in so long by this time that I'm sure he didn't even recognize who I was. He always seemed to be surrounded by people, not the stereotypical "popular" group of peers, but the more academically driven ones. I remember he and Bailey throughout Junior High, I think... or that may have possibly been the beginning of High School, not sure. He must've graduated early, because I would've seen him around a lot more throughout my years at South. I remember in Junior High he was already taking classes at South, my Mom would talk to me about it in hopes that it would magically rub off on me somehow, that failed miserably. Another flashback, Krumsick's math class, 8th grade: "Now Riley, he was one smart youngster and until any of you can come up with your own way to solve algebraic mathematics problems, you all need to be studying." This of course caused an uproar of curiousity and questions, "What do you mean, 'his own way?'" Krumsick stated, "He came up with his own way of finding out answers to the problems right in front of you that he had never been taught." I was dumbfounded to say the very least. At the time I thought that perhaps he had created his own mathematical rule that could be applied in all circumstances with those particular problems, but I believe now that he was probably just so advanced in mathematics that he figured out how to skip a majority of the steps within the solving process. I stumbled upon his old LJ tonight and read almost every entry, it was all just so interesting. At 15 his grammar, punctuation, spelling, sentence structure and such was better than most teachers today. If you get the chance, look it up, read an entry, you'll see what I mean. He also used words that I had never even heard of at 15, simply marvelous. His entries stop in 2007, this left me wondering what college he's probably near graduating from and hoping he'll become a philosopher of some sort because he just has the perfect mind for it.

Blah, just an amazing individual. I cannot speak on behalf of his personality as of late, but I can however say that his brain is fucking genius. Think about that for a little while and get back to me.

I think I'm going to ask my Mom is she knows just where he/they ended up.

Friends Season 8 has arrived in my room, I've been waiting for a week or more. I'm pleased. Hm, nothing interesting to talk about, I don't think. I've just been out and about with some kids, havin' a good time.

Talked about possibly expanding my room.... haha. I think perhaps I'll talk to the Mother about it at some point this week. That'd be sick as fuck.

Wow, this was a waste of your time, sorry you decided to read this one.
I'm out, for now.
<3

Definitely went to the Lady Wolves game tonight, sweet Jesus do I love competitive women's soccer. Twentyten is not fuckin around, undefeated in Soccer and Football, holy shit! If I could hand pick a select national team of High Schoolers, Riley Dopps would be the first one on the damn team. Sweet fucking Jesus. She's grown up SO much, it's insane. I remember she would come into Morton's class when I was in 7th grade and help him pass out papers and stuff, she was always so adorable. Now she's starting Varsity for the past 2 years, varsity track since 8th grade, and sings pretty fucking amazingly. I really don't think the girl has any limits as to what she can do. She's a mother fuckin' BEAST. She reminds me of a lightning bolt out on that field, she comes out of nowhere and shocks the Hell out of you because of how incredibly quick she is with the ball, it's insane. She'll go far in life, watch.

I almost hit my Sister tonight, not really, but God did I want to. She is being RIFUCKINGDICULOUS with this whole Preston thing, it's starting to get on my nerves, a lot. I promise you can go more than 12 hours without seeing him, IT WILL BE OKAY. JFC. He's good with his pathetic guilt trips, also. She falls for them faster than anything I've ever seen. 3 minutes after I pick her up, he texts her, "I miss you." SHUTTHEFUCKUPYOUFUCKINGIDIOT! It pisses me off and I will fucking do whatever I must to break that shit up if it doesn't stop. He is not good for her anymore, he's a distraction and a gigantic road block on her path to college and doing anything awesome in life. I'm just very done with his games. Very fucking done. I hate how she doesn't stand up to him, I think that gets me angry the most. "I wish you didn't have to go to your dumb soccer game, I want you here with me." Uh, I'm pretty sure she's been playing soccer for the past 5 years, so calling it dumb is not a good idea, but what does she say back? "I'm sorry, I'll come over as soon as it's over." What the fuck? You're just gonna let him get away with doggin' on something that you love? HOKAY. Way to be whipped. God damn. Grow some balls and tell him to back the fuck up off your shit. That and tell him to get a fucking life and some form of education. It's not so much him that I am mad at, it's more her for just being a fucking doormat all the time. "Don't forget to wipe your feet on me." Fuck.
alskjdfo;ajsodjaojfaosjdf.  Whatever. I just want them to break up, soooooon. I'm tired of her whining and complaining that she doesn't get to see him even though she sees him without fail, EVERY FUCKING DAY and he doesn't even go to school with her. It's such bullshit.

Wow, okay. I'm done venting, woo.
Possibly something more interesting later tonight, but probably not.
Oh and fuck Alysha Hartshorn. Justkidding, kind of. Dumbhoe. I take that back, somewhat. Do not fucking text me about him and then not reply, that's dumb as Hell. If I wanted to know about him I would find out some other way, Jeeezus. Here's our relationship.... there it is six feet under, leave it the fuck down there. Filthy maggots.

Ever wake up from a dream about your ex and realize you miss them? Ok well that totally was not what this dream was, lolz. This is one of the first time I can remember waking up and actually laughing.

Characters: Erickkk, Lysh, Myself, and Adam

In Erick's car for some reason, cruisin', the usual. Right? Ok. Lysh and I are in the back, listening to Miley Cyrus for some reason, whatever. So.. we're trying to figure out a place to go because we're all insanely bored, we end up going to Long Lake Rd, which was actually what would've been Glenwood in real life, but that's cool I guess. We park at this building that is supposed to be some sick game place or something, I don't know. Anyway, so I guess Adam didn't want to get out of the car for some reason and Erick basically yanks him out of the car and the very second this happens we all hear this:

FUNNYSHIT, anyway, so then out of nowhere JA comes up and confesses her undying love for what is now my ex. LOLZY. Statements such as, "We could've lasted until the end of forever." 0_o So with this happening I am already laughing and Lysh has to drag me inside so I don't cause a scene, nice. When we get inside it's this pathetic building with white linoleum floors with a whole bunch of seperate rooms, each having things like pool tables and fooseball and such. Lysh and I go into a room, shut the door, and as soon as this happens we hear JA say, "Uhm, excuse me, I have a boyfriend! You missed your chance with THIS back in High School." Instantly on the floor laughing uncontrollably, but this time, Lysh is with me on the laughing.

Then I wake up chuckling to myself Re-picture it all in my brain and lol for like 3 minutes.
That, my friend, was a good dream. JA, who could JA be? BHAHAHAHA. Hint: First name's Jennifer.  ;D

I am getting WAYYY too much sleep than what I can handle, obviously. That and I really need to slow it down on the Friends episodes, haha. I really shouldn't be awake right now, but here I am... I went to bed at like, 1230ish, problem being I got 13 hours of sleep the night before. Good times.
N!kki comes back this weekend, wooorrrd? Chill session is necessary.
Going to try and get back to sleep.

"Oh, my, GOD!"
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Every time I got to Cammeron Munger's Myspace profile I see myself when I was in High School. Then I think about how dumb he is, how dumb I was...

After High School you realize that it's only High School. Being friends with the hottest girls and partying every weekend aren't priorities anymore. Talking about how not stereotypical you are actually does make you stereo typed, and just because you're a homosexual doesn't mean that the world is against you, giving you the right to act cocky and allow things that should really matter fly past with out even the blink of an eye. Flaunting the fact that you drink and smoke pot with all of your friends by posting pictures of all of you smashed on a public profile for all the world to see doesn't make you any cooler, it doesn't give a free pass into the High School Hall of Fame. You try and act as mature as possible because you know how adults and alumni see you, the typical teenager pumped full of misplaced confidence and a subpar amount of ambition. You take everything for granted, why shouldn't you? You have all the friends you could ever need, studying is almost unnecessary, and you live where bills are non-existent. Life is a breeze at it's worst and a shot of vodka at it's most divine of times. Whenever you have money, you rarely need to save it, helping you have almost everything you could ever want. A nice, top of the line, cell phone, a car that almost always has gas in it, money to waste on drugs and alcohol.... everything is within reach. You take up smoking solely because your friends do, but you know you can't say that to anyone because it looks bad, so you tell people you "just started one day because you could." Because that really is the reason, you look back and notice that you never really smoked while in Junior High and that none of your friends did either, weird concept. In High School the world is yours for the taking and you soak up every last drop of drama that you can and you have no idea why, but it's the most interesting subject that your High School has to offer. You say you avoid drama at all costs, but you know it's a lie. "Oh my God, she is such a fucking slut, did you see her all over Joe at that party last weekend?" "Dude, save up your lunch money, we're all gonna buy a sac on Friday before we go to the game." It's all a fantasy, but while you're in it, you hate it or at least give off the impression that you do.
High School is such a yellow brick road and instead of having to walk, you're cruisin' down it in a red Mustang that's fresh off the dealership. It's amazing to look back and realize how easy things were for you, how quickly you were sucked into whatever social scene you were into at the time. It's beyond interesting knowing that High School is your last chance to do whatever you want and have a somewhat accurate feeling of knowing that you'll come out of it with more laughs than regrets.

Then, graduation comes and you've quickly found yourself locating the best after party and awaiting the Summer so you can party whenever you want because it's not like you have school in the morning, or ever again, for the time being at least. All of your family is so incredibly proud of you for doing what millions and millions of people have done before you, but it's special because it's you and not anyone else. This is the Utopia you've been waiting for your entire Senior year, that week or two when everyone is still in school except the Seniors. You feel good about yourself, amazed that you finally made it through all the bullshit, and possibly even happy that you'll never have to set foot in that High School ever again, even though later on you probably will at some point. The Summer of fun and ultimate bliss blows by so quickly that you feel as if you deserve another month or so because you were in High School for so long that the victorious feeling should last a lot longer than it actually does. Pretty soon you begin to hear chatter of college, dates that your friends plan on moving out, all the excitement of getting out of that small town and experiencing something new, being out on your own at last. The last week or so before leaving seems to fly by too quickly and before you know it you're in a dorm room with someone you've never met before and trying to be as courteous as possible in order to hit things off on the right foot. Classes begin and things are different, almost like you're living a new life that you didn't know was possible of existing. No one is there to cook for you, tell you when dinner will be ready, or that you need to go pick up your little Sister from soccer practice. It's all you out there, the real world has finally shown itself to you and you embrace it lovingly as if it has taken too long to finally seek out your companionship. This feeling of independence is greatly appreciated, for awhile at least.

[I'll have to come back to this. I have gone too far into thinking and have gotten myself off track. Hopefully I'll be able to finish this someday. If not, eh, it's still what's been on my mind for awhile.]

I ain't nothing but a sinner in a world full of sin.

Kyle Tomko is such a douchebaggg. We had a discussion about ref. 71. Bahahahahaa. I love FB for having that damn IM thingy, I wouldn't have had to talk to him had they not had that. Then he preached at me for a good 10 minutes, then I asked some questions about his old book that he didn't seem to have an answer for, out of nowhere "I have to go to bed or I would keep this conversation going..." Alright.   Lame ass shit. 

I just mastered the art of kicking a beach ball onto all 4 walls of my room, plus the ceiling without it touching the ground once. I have too many skills, haven't knocked a single thing down yet. SKILLZ MOTHAFUCKA. Hahahah. I think I might break my straight edge days... I'm just so bored. What a completely horrible excuse, lolz. No peer pressure, no parties, just my own boredom. Went to the mall yesterday, I forgot how many beautiful people there are at those places, I also forgot how small that damn place is. Took about 30 minutes to span the entire thing, I'm a quick shopper. TJ Max was even shorter. Out of the entire rack, I picked out 3 shirts, the rest were fucking ugly. As for jeans, they had a surprisingly small amount of anything I would ever wear. (Definitely just typed out "where." Good thing I re-read the sentence after I type it, how embarrassing.) Yes, I just re-read that one, too. Fuck, and that one. Ok, no longer looking at the screen for the rest of this post. Fuck, just looked. Ok, I can do this. Now that I've turned around I can do it, hahaha, thank God for wireless everything. Blehk, one month to go... remind me to spray paint that tree next time I go out there. I really don't want to wait for a new phone, buyt they really have a shitty selection right now. None of them feel right, yes, I am talking about a cell phone like that, shut up. I wish i could make my own phone, that'd be some sick shit. Yesssir. I think we are having chicken stuffed something for dinner tonight, I can smell it from here. Now I'm spinning in my chair while I type, this is some fun stuff... hahaha. Wow. I need season 8 of Friends sooo bad. Rachel preggo, WHATZEEFUCKKK! Crazyshit. My eyes are now closed. I still feel like I'm spinning, haha I love this. I really wold like some vodka and red bull, I think. Maybe. No, I lied. I don't do bad things. Arielle just sent me a picture of a naked old lady in  witch outfit, that's effing disgusting.
I realized this year that I fucking hate Halloween, what is the god damn point? Just like Valentines day. dude. Useless. Back to spinning.............................. weee!
Ew, I watched part of Superstar today on E!... I really don't like any of the actors in that movie.

I just had an entire conversation in song lines, funny shit, try it next time you get the chance.

I had the wackiest of dreams last night, SRSLY. I can't remember them now, but I know they were fucking peculiar and very abnormal.


Peter's mind is so amazing. I wish I could like, dig around in it and discover more stuff. If you find how to track down his oldest of blogs, you'll understand why I am saying this. He uses words like deadly weapons better than anyone else in the history of ever. I. Love. It. Makes me feel a lot better about my life. HAHAHAHAHA.
Ugh. Alright, I think I am done talking about nonsense for now, check back later.

loveyou.